Do Nurses Really Eat Their Young?
Have you heard this saying?
It is something that was said often when I was a new nurse over 20 years ago and I found it to be at least 50% true. New nurses are babies to the world of nursing and need a lot of guidance. Most often a preceptorship lasts many weeks, if not months, before a new nurse ventures out on their own…and still, that new nurse will not have done or may need more practice with many nursing tasks and time management. As a new pediatric nurse, I remember my preceptor was an old-timer in that hospital and she was so kind and patient. I was so eager, but I had to learn to be patient because I wanted to take it all in so fast. I had a great learning experience. I had to slow down and let her teach me. No one wants to teach a know-it-all and if you act like you already know it, you may be missing out. Allow the experienced nurses teach you because that support may not always be there.
It takes at least a couple of years to really feel comfortable being a nurse. In the beginning, I remember feeling a tiny bit embarrassed calling myself by that title because I felt like I still had so much to learn – and I did. I would say that it took about 2 years to feel comfortable in my nurse skin, and even with over 20 years under my belt, there’s always more to learn.
But, do Nurses eat their young? I would say that the nurse culture still does. Maybe not as bad as it used to be, but I still see it. It is the bullying of new nurses and treating them like they are less. It is the culture of making the new nurse prove him/herself to become a part of the team. It can happen to a new grad nurse or a newcomer to the workplace.
New nurses need our support. They are our peers and a part of our care team. It would be in our best interest to take them under our wings and teach them to make our team stronger. That doesn’t mean do their work for them, they have to learn to be independent, but add to their knowledge and support them.
Nurse K sees Nurse J looking for a piece of equipment. Nurse K just watches as Nurse J runs all over looking for it when she knows exactly where it is. Why didn’t Nurse J tell Nurse K where to find what she was looking for?
Nurse A’s patient has chest tube. The patient pulls out the chest tube. Nurse A needs help and doesn’t know the proper route to initiate help because she is new. Nurse B helps Nurse A to get the help needed. Nurse K writes up Nurse A for not knowing what to do and states that Nurse A is dangerous and then tells her other peers that Nurse A doesn’t know what she is doing. Why did Nurse K just watch Nurse A struggle and not step in to help? And furthermore, creating a hostile work environment for Nurse A?
Bullies do things like withholding information that could help their peer or writing someone up for something trivial or allowing someone to make a mistake when they could have prevented it. Bullies talk behind someone’s back to try to make other people feel negatively about that someone or I have even seen one nurse say something awful right to another nurse’s face.
When I transferred from one hospital to another, I had been a nurse for about 5 years, so not brand new, but still new. Some nurses were welcoming, but there were several nurses who made me feel very unwanted. I had a nurse refuse to show me where things were when they were assigned to orient me. I was often assigned the heaviest patients and I felt like when certain managers were working, admissions were waiting for me when I clocked in. One nurse refused to speak to me and got the other nurses to not talk to me too. I was a float nurse so it happened on different floors, different departments, some worse than others. It was a Right of passage, a hazing, and when I showed them that I could work through it, I was allowed in. I was allowed in the friend circle. But, for a while, it was really miserable going to work during that time. Did it have to be that way?
How can we avoid this bullying?
Nurses as a group have to stick together. A bully should be identified and their behavior should be addressed. It is easier said than done. If at the very least, we can be nicer to each other now and moving forward, the bullying culture will dissipate. Kill each other with kindness to make the best of our working relationships. After all, we all spend so much time at work. Work should be enjoyable and our family away from home.
Please be nice to each other…
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